Clouds

When I was a kid, I was sure that all the deities that were resided on top of the clouds. I know I got this from my Grandma Ann's bible--annotated, of course. When I took my first flight, oh so many years ago, I had to let go of that hope. It was just clouds. Beautiful as they are, there was no G*d, no angels, no harps, no gates of entrance. Not even Jack and the Beanstalk.

Flying to Chicago today I really wished that I could see something up here. I really wanted to see my friend, Glenna, who died Saturday night, three days before her 55th birthday. Just once more to see her, listen to her again, maybe even have a glass of wine and a giggle. I could feel myself slipping off into an abyss of sadness and that I did not want to happen, it would be too deep and never ending. It was the rant of 'why did this happen' that is never answered and too self serving. I had to look for what could make sense to me from all this sadness.

What I could see is all the possibilities that are left for me and the changes I need to start to make. And there you have it. Even though Glenna is gone, she is still being my friend and mentoring me. Damn. I am going to miss her.