A Day in India

6:00 alarm.

6:05 reading emails that came in from US overnight. Two emails wanting to know why I hadn't responded to emails from yesterday, US time. Maybe because I worked eleven hours Wednesday and by the time I got back to the apartment my brain was dead? Does not put me immediately into a good mood.

6:15 Shower drain still backed up. I do not want to know why. Last night I poured two packets of India strength draino down two of the three drains and plunged the other opening. I now have a very good understanding of the phrase "black hole of Calcutta' . I decide to pour the last packet down the biggest drain, along with hot water. Challenging to do with my eyes closed but I seriously do not want to know what is down there.

6:25 DY offers to make coffee. Very nice but means I have to be civil. Turn A/C on in 'drawing room' to cool work area and make it nice for maids.

7:00 Maids. Hand gestures, smiles and 'what the hell' gets us through.

7:20 Front door bell ringing. Neighbor from below talking to DY except neither speaks the others language. Both maids get involved so DY and I search for a mobile to call Ritu, our pitbull cum administrator cum translator cum ruler of our world. I daily thank gods for Ritu. A/C that we had fixed two days ago is working so well that streams of water are pouring out of the drain pipe to the balcony below, soaking the neighbors laundry that is on the line. Not good. Ritu problem solves with him over the phone, he is very nice--or at least his tone sounds nice as he says something as he walks out. We decide to put hose into a bucket on our balcony once the maids are done with it.

7:45 Maid puts hose in bucket on balcony and leaves.

8:10 Client has not completed the prework essential for class tomorrow. 19 people, no prework done. Talking with V. to come up with options. Give him mobile number to call the managing director (head honcho) to try to put urgency on him to get it done or postpone.

8:15 V calls back. Gave him mobile number for Amol, just the wrong Amol. Sigh.

8:16 DY and I both jump up at same time when the sound of running water registers with our work focused brains. A/C is now cascading water into the 'drawing room', down onto electrical plug for the brand new flat screen TV. Not good on many levels.

8:25 Put on one white anklette sock that was lying on the arm of the sofa. No intention of finding the mate. DY looks at me, one eyebrow raised but doesn't comment. I realize I could be risking any shred of credibility I have left but I like the sock.

9:00 The materials I need to prep now for the client session tomorrow are at office. I am working from apartment. I have no way to get to office. Sigh.

9:10 DY leaves for appointment. Relative quiet. Realize I am so homesick that I could cry but I don't. Thankfully, I do not have a dog to kick not that I would ever kick a dog but it metaphorically feels right.

9:17 Can't have V pick me up and take me to office to get stuff because I have to wait for the electrician, plumber and printer to show up.

10:00 Cleared out 12 emails and feel like progress has been made. Stand up to stretch and notice 14 new emails have come in. This confirms that exercise is not good--and that is comforting because I have not made it to the gym since Sunday.

10:14 Electrician shows up to change the broken voltage corrector that keeps the A/C happy. He needs a chair to stand on so he can rewire something. Why do they not bring a ladder? He says (to Ritu on the other end of the cell phone) that we should bring the hose from the A/C into the kitchen and have it drain down the sink. Fabulous. Snakes the hose in, he and I check it out, seems to be working. Window will have to remain open, but no mosquito's right now so I am going Scarlett O'Hara on this one. I again appreciate knowing that body language is more important than words because the electrician and I have no words in common. Good bye, maybe.

10:24 Electrician finished. On phone to Ritu so she can translate. I need to give him Rs 200 (about $4) and have him sign on a piece of paper. He writes in Hindi--probably says something about wild Western woman with one white sock on being nuts. Don't care.

10:30 Pretty sure have avoided complete homesick meltdown by getting into answering 23 emails--none of which are from friends.

10:35 Put up a post on Facebook and immediately delete it. Something about needing a broom and flying monkeys.

11:00 Open fridge to get yogurt, a large Kingfisher beer explodes, spraying glass and beer all over kitchen. I hop around on one white sock and clean it all up. No time to mop the floor and anyway, the kitchen smells nice and yeasty.

11:11 Need to send emails but power is on and off. Begin to look for the humor in all this. Nope, not finding it.

11:12 Take first sip of coffee that DY gave me three hours ago. Stone cold. Wish there was Kahlua here. Heat coffee in microwave and blow out all the circuits. Really good at fixing this, because I do it a lot so happy to problem solve this in a half second and without a call to Ritu.

11:19 Plumber shows up. I have him look at drains in bathroom, he asks me for plastic bag--I think that is what he asks for, at any rate. I show him the wrapper from the packets of draino I put down the drain. He sticks his arm UP TO HIS SHOULDER down the drain and pulls out the most vile sludge. I don't care how much it costs for this guy, I cannot be paying him enough. Call Ritu to translate-my fabulous pit bull goes to work- and I can hear her giving him an ear full-he just nods his head, not saying anything. She tell me to pay him Rs 100 ($2.00) but have him clean all the drains in all the bathrooms. No problem on that one.

11:22 Plumber done. He signs receipt. Think it is his name and not a social commentary on non Hindi speaking foreigners living in his country. I realize while he is signing the book he is staring at my one previously white sock because it has sludge on it. Sock off.

11:28 Finish very long email to client. WTF?? It is gone, and not to the client. Sigh. Begin rewriting.

12:15 Call from guys. Appointment in Delhi went very well. I can feel the relief -- this is good, and walk out on balcony off my bedroom as I am talking with DY to watch the rain begin. Hang up, breathe in the smell of the rain and remember my laundry is still on the clothes line on the front balcony. Bring it in, pigeon that co-opts the clothes line wasn't happy to move. Set basket down to answer cell phone. Wander around apartment talking and circle back to pick up basket that I have put under the A/C which is leaking again but not onto the floor as the clean dry clothes are absorbing it all. FMD. Readjust hose in kitchen sink to drain into bucket on floor. This is not a long term solution but seems to work for now.

1:15 Noise in kitchen--avoiding it.

1:20 Noise in kitchen different. Ignore it.

1:27 Noise in kitchen. Sigh, get up and go look. Hose has popped out of the bucket and A/C waste water has created a nice indoor wadding pool. Kitchen no longer smells nice and yeasty.

1:33 Realize printer has not delivered materials I have to take to Mumbai. Dialing the fabulous Ritu.

No, I am not making this up.

LOL.