Week Three

Today will be the start of week three for me. I am surprised at how much I have done with the process of The Artist's Way.

I have journaled every day...maybe not in the morning but the three pages have gotten done. And I haven't gone back to reread what I wrote. That will be saved for the end of the twelve weeks and hopefully there are more awarenesses that will be gotten from that rereading.

I have done all the exercises, some that revealed interesting information to me, others that bored me but I guess that is what this is all about, isn't it? What I liked best, and this really surprised me, was writing out the affirmations. It gave me time to REALLY think what it meant for me: (#7) what ARE the simple tools that will allow me to flourish? I make everything so freaking complicated...and the blurts get louder than the creative flourish. What will I be led to if I listen to the creator within? And does that scare me or delight me? Or both? One thing I do know is that # 19 is why I am spending the time with TAW: I am willing to experience my creative energy.

Last Saturday I walked into Hemel Hempstead from the hotel--an easy two mile walk. At one moment I was stopped in my tracks by this awareness: I create for myself. And when I lose that I begin to resent the art. Here's what I mean: I love to photograph as I travel and I have some rare shots that are good (it made me pause before I could type that word. Blurt.) and lovely. I have had inquires about entering my work into contests or to print for selling. I have been honored that supportive people have suggested that to me but it then affects how I look at the next shot. The questions that go through my mind are: Will this be an acceptable shot? Would someone buy this? It this the right lighting? The same thing happens with the jewelry I make--or used to make.

It sucks the joy right out of me.

Then, I had to work through the thoughts that creating for myself is a selfish act. It is, isn't it? But if I create with the idea to SELL my work, isn't that selfish? Instead I want to create my work to capture the moment because it is delightful, or beautiful or pondersome. If that creates a reaction in someone else, then I am lucky.

Onward to week three. Cool.